Well, it’s been a slam-dunk kinda day at our place.
Magoo just laid her first poo right there, in the potty, in our lounge-room.
And that’s not all.
She even told me she needed to go.
There you have it, people.
Who knew that parenting could elicit such pride?
It was like witnessing the birth of a long, brown slug. Magoo, tentative, bordering on afraid, made me hold her hand, and I cheered her on like a total and utter maniac.
At one point, I believe I even exclaimed: “Yay for YOU! Yay for POO!” in a clever, rhyming ovation, as she neared the end.
The Super Defacto and I gathered together to gaze down at the little golden egg and we may have done a chest-bump or two before throwing a gleeful Magoo in the air and whooping several times.
The next part of the process is where I seek your advice, wise readers.
How the hell do you get the fudge-dragon from the potty into the toilet?
And wouldn’t it be easier and more environmentally-friendly to just hold your kid over the toilet?
This is where my technical knowledge about parenting completely falters.
I was expecting a simple plop-and-wipe affair, but the thing clung to the potty like a terrified leech (post-meal).
I tried wiping it out with some loo paper but that just made it worse and waaay more smeary.
Half a packet of Baby Wipes and a couple of retches later, I’d managed to get the worst of it out and safely deposited the wipes into a bin-ready plastic bag.
Then, to appease my need to disinfect the potty, I hit it with a White King Power Clean Antibacterial wipe.
While these shenanigans were taking place, Magoo had explored some small, leftover crumbs of poo with her fingers and flushed the loo 20 times.
Could it be that I am not feeding my child enough stodge so that her poos will simply bounce from potty to toilet?
Or is there a special technique to which I am not yet privy?!
Please note that by adding your helpful comments below, you will not only save me from getting my hands covered in turd, but you will also be saving trees from getting turned into toilet paper to get covered in turd.